The Pranks/Jerk-Moves of Walmart

5 Ways to Get Thrown Out of Wal-Mart

1. Fake Robbery

Walmart always has a surplus of those plastic grocery sacks. They wouldn't miss just a couple, would they?

Simply grab one or two of the bags. If you have some kind of item on you, such as a wrist watch or chinchilla, put it in the bag. This feat has an extra effect if you're wearing all black and another person with you.

Wave the bag in the air above your head, running for the doors. If you can, make sure it's right by security officers. As you run with the bag over your head, scream phrases such as:

     "We got it!"
     "Run for it!!"
     "You'll never catch me alive, Copper!"

2. Grocery Cart Races

Who HASN'T taken a grocery cart for a spin? I have on many accounts, but only in empty aisles.

To add more of a danger and against-the-rules factor to your escapade, hold your races in the most crowded areas of Walmart you can find. Bonus points if you hit pedestrians!

3. Demoralization

Ok, I'll admit it, this one is slightly cruel. However, I'm sure that it would be pretty awesome.

Step one: locate overly-masculine man, preferably with no wedding or engagement ring.

Step two: make sure he's pushing around a cart.

Step three: when he's not looking, put girly items such as frilly pink ladies underwear, Aphrodite perfume, six packs of glitter, etc.

     Note: this must be done VERY carefully. He cannot notice whatsoever that he has those items in his cart.

Follow him to the cash register, and make sure you're in line behind him. When the cashier gives a weird look or asks the man questions about his odd items, say some witty line. I'm not funny or clever, so I can't give you any, but I trust you can think of something.

4. Milk-Face

To do this one, you'll need some great timing so that you don't get caught before you actually get to pull it off.

You'll need to locate a row of milk that only has one gallon left in it, with that shelf at the average person's eye level.

Go into the refrigerated cold room where the milk is kept in stock.

Get your face and/or arm ready to shove the empty space, but stay out of sight.

Scare the living crap out of somebody when they go to grab their dairy product.

5. Water Clothes

Smuggle in a loaded water gun. Go to the clothing area, doesn't matter if it's male or female.

Clamber inside of one of the ring/square racks of clothes.

Whisper at people the browse the clothes on the ring you are hidden in. Attempt to dissuade them from getting anything on the rack by saying things such as, "Oh, he won't like that," or "Ehh, I'm pretty sure that'll make you look fat."

If they take the item anyways, unceremoniously jump up and spray them. No questions asked. Just DO it.