Trick or Meat

It's the week of Halloween

And everyone's scared

Except for my brother,

We're all unprepared

For on this coming Thursday

Many knocks will be heard

From small, dressed-up children

Repeating their words

We'll hear "trick or treat"

Every three seconds or so

We'll give them some cavities

So that they'll just GO

Every year I put up with it

Redeeming money for junk

Forced to give it away

To the high schooler punks

Well this year is different

I'm fighting "The Man"

Instead of free candy,

I'll give them some ham

Handing out lunch meat is great!

They'll be in for a surprise!

They asked for a trick,

So I'll give chicken thighs

Maybe some dino-nuggets

Or a fat leg of lamb

And for the really bad kids,

I'll give them old spam

Bologna and tofu

And frankfurter too

They really should thank me

For the ole' switcheroo

Hot dogs for Hershey's

Roast beef for the Reese's

I'll get a good laugh,

They'll explode into pieces

Oh, this Halloween,

Will be one to remember

If your kid comes to my house,

They'll have meat through November