Friday, December 13, 2013


Upon accidentally viewing my own personal wall on Facebook, I noticed that there was an option to view my top posts from this past year. An opportunity to post pre-written things that have already proven to be likeable? I couldn't pass that up.

Top 10 Posts Off Of My Wall from 2013

10. Mar 13
If I ever get stranded on a deserted island, I think to get rescued I would just have to do something really stupid. Someone always seems to be watching me when that happens.

9. Mar 6
I had something cooking in the microwave, and I hit "stop" with one second left. But then the beeping noise continued, so I just sat there and repeatedly pressed the "clear" button. The beeping continued... naturally, I started hitting buttons randomly to get the beeping to stop. It was at that point that I turned around and saw my brother turn off the beeping oven timer... (-___-) failure.

8. Jun 24
Why must Netflix always run out of episodes when there's a cliffhanger?

7. Oct 26
Today the number of unread emails in my inbox reached 666.
This is possibly a bad omen.

6. Aug 24
[My little sister] has started to sleep walk.
"I need a drink."
Pokes fridge, walks away
"Actually, I need a hug.
Strokes walls lovingly, walks into bathroom, begins to cry
"Good morning Tylan. I'm going to sleep now."

5. Feb 14
Today is the day that Saint Valentine was brutally beaten and finally beheaded for illegally marrying couples.
Happy February 14th.

4. Nov 27
After taking the PSAT in my sophomore year, there has been no end to the emails from colleges (that I have no intention of attending).
Call me cruel, but I take great satisfaction in seeing the subjects of their emails (that I don't reply to):
"You there, Tylan?" "I want to help you, Tylan..." "Are our emails reaching you?" "Are we contacting the right Tylan?"

3. Jun 7
The lead flight attendant on my flight to AZ sang to us after we landed.

We love you
You love us
We're much faster than the bus
We hope you enjoyed our hospitality
Marry one of us and you'll fly free

2. May 26
Babbling toddlers are like the Terms and Conditions. I have no clue what they're saying, so I just agree and move on.

1. Aug 20
Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?

A: It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of fear.

Feel free to share your own top Facebook moments in the comments!

1 comment :

  1. I only made like 3 posts, so yeah.

    (1 like!!! :D ) Battle hymn of North Korea:
    This piece actually has an interesting history. Composed in 1897, it was
    designed as a battle march for the Czechs. However, it has degraded in
    public view awesomeness wise and is seen as a joke.

    (3 likes, when I first got facebook-) I have failed the Resistance... Alas, I have a Facebook!

    (4 likes!! :D ) Alright. So, October 21, 2015, I am going to dress up as Marty McFly, walk into a
    Walmart or other crowded store, and then act disappointed- you know,
    like, "the script was so much cooler!" or something.

    (6 likes- I broke my own code and stole something from the Interwebz-) I can almost always tell when dinosaurs in movies are real.
    ALMOST always.