Wednesday, November 27, 2013


Many of the people that I've spoken to seem to have only moved once or twice in their lifetime. After reflecting for the whole of two seconds about it, I decided to compile a list of...

The 10 Hardest Parts About Moving

10. Not knowing where the good neighborhood starts and ends

That might sound racist or trivial, but it's a good thing to keep in mind. I'm pretty keen on walking, and while my stature might be intimidating to some people, it's good to know what places might not be the best to walk through.

9. Making your house awesome

For me, the first few weeks in a new house are the scariest; the bedrooms and hallways are devoid of furniture and objects of decoration. Right now, we're using a generic folding table to eat dinner on, and spare bed sheets as curtains. Wooo! Go design-on-a-dime!

8. Finding the "perfect" place for internet connection with a laptop

This has been one of the hardest things to deal with. The only working internet router outlet in the apartment (that works) is behind a bunk bed, so the router is beneath the bed resting on the ground. Maybe it's just superstition, but it seems that unless the door is open to that bedroom, there are fewer than three plaster walls in the way, and the temperature is exactly 73.2 degrees, the internet connectivity is extremely poor.

7. Trying to find where the grocery store is

After living in the same city for four years, I began to simply find myself at the grocery store by walking and letting my feet do the steering.

After driving around for half an hour (we don't believe in GPS or Google Maps on the go), we determined the closest grocery location. Mission accomplished!

6. Dealing with house imperfections

I generally try to be an optimist, but some issues with a new home are easy to notice and hard to ignore. First thing I found out about my apartment is that the bathroom switches are switched around. Naturally, when I walk into a restroom, I swipe the switch closest to the door in order to turn on the light. This is not the case. For reasons unknown, the fan and the light switches in the restrooms were switched, resulting in blaring ventilation noises during midnight trips to the toilet.

5. Figuring out the shower

This is an issue that I know I'm not alone on. We may not know some of the world's greatest mysteries, like how stonehenge was constructed or how headphone cables get tangled in our pockets. But the mystery that is the most pressing in many cases is how to operate a shower. Get it wrong, and you will be frozen and/or boiled alive. Even once you think you've figured it out, there is still the possibility that something could go terribly awry.

4. Packing/Unpacking

I don't have anything against being organized. I really don't. I just hate the whole process of cramming crap into cardboard, just to tear it all out of the boxes a few hours later. Finding places to store my stuff in an unknown area is difficult for me to do, since I get overwhelmed easily.

Side note: packing should be made into an Olympic sport, just so that I can show you just how much I hate it.

3. Understanding the roads

In Nampa, if somebody told me to take a left off of 12th right after Walmart to get to Skyview, I would've felt the soaring confidence of a person playing Mario Kart who just overlapped everybody twice on rainbow road.

Here, getting street directions or finding my way around town is as confusing as translating terrorist threats spoken in Yiddish, whilst doing trigonometry in the back of a moving capuchin-transport vehicle.

2. Getting to know other people

I am not a social butterfly (that's why I have a blog). I'm more like a social opossum, scurrying around, hiding in the shadows, and playing dead if people get too close to me.

As such, it has proven difficult for me to find my "niche," a group of people with the same strange character attributes as myself.

1. Letting go of people from last place

This one is kind of a misnomer. I don't mean forgetting about friends from other cities, I simply mean adjusting to not being able to have them around or going about my normal habit of messing around and getting up to general Tomfoolery.

What do you think is the hardest part of moving? I'd like to hear your opinions.

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