Monday, November 18, 2013


As I've gone through life, moving from state to state, meeting more and more individuals, I've come across some interesting personalities, characteristics, hobbies, and habits.

One person that I met in the state of Arizona was actually born with the name Anthony Stark, but naturally, goes by Tony. This fact immediately earned my respect, despite the fact that he bore no resemblance whatsoever to the coolest Marvel super hero.

Another individual I had the privilege of befriending had three younger siblings, all with different hair colors. These younger siblings' hair were natural, and were the epitome of their respective colors; blond, black, and red. The person I got to meet, however, had none of these hair colors. Rather, she had a combination of all three, which is difficult to imagine but was in all actuality the awesomest hair color ever.

I've met people who can play the guitar with their toes, and others who play the flute through their nose. Some people I've met collect hot wheels cars; some collect stray cats. I've met debaters, dancers, athletes, musicians, programmers, artists, and some people so reclusive that I've known them for three years and never found out anything besides their first name.

Out of all these varied and awesome people, I've come across the weirdest and wildest habits and hobbies and flaws and fears. However, through the hundreds upon hundreds of people I have shook hands with, gotten to know, and learned about, I have never met another person with the same problem that I have.

I cannot sneeze in public.

It's not a matter of choice; that uncomfortable sensation that precedes a sneeze is all too familiar, and something that I wish to rid myself of very quickly, regardless of who I'm with. But over the course of the past few months, I have not been able to sneeze in front of anybody (except my immediate family members).

I feel that awful tingly feeling in my nose, and silently pray that it will simply come and go, leaving me to whatever task is at hand. When in front of people it seems that those wishes go unanswered.

Let me give you an example.

I was on the third floor of the City Library in Salt Lake City, in the math and science section of the volumes. I had already read many of the novels and texts there, but I was desperately searching for some new mathematical material to devour.

Then it hit me.

With the starkness of Iron Man himself (insert knee slap here), I could feel the pain that should be followed by a sneeze. That relief would be the thunder to the lightning sensation in my face, and was much more joyfully anticipated than what I knew would be coming.

My body physically rejected the vocalization that accompanies the noise, and leaves the rest. It's a sound that is difficult to describe, but imagine the stereotypical sneeze noise (ach-hoo) and take away the "ach" part. Essentially, I make this extremely loud owl mating call, which draws as much weird looks as that sentence just got from you.


Why am I telling you this?

If you've read any more than a single post on my blog, you'll have come to the conclusion that I am indeed an oddball. I say strange things, type strange things, do strange things... in some sense of the phrase, I am a strange thing.

But I once read a quote that was something along the lines of, "Nobody can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has just discovered an old idea and thinks it is his own." Essentially, I find it hard to believe that I'm the only person to have an issue making normal sneezing noises. There's always first time for everything though, so I'm open to new insights.

I know this blog doesn't get read by an enormous amount of people, but for those who do read this, I'd appreciate input on this troubling issue.

Until next time.


  1. Uhhhmmm I have the tiniest sneezes in the world.... and you know that(:

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  3. This... This was amazing. Don't be surprised if I ask you to guest-post sometime, Mr. Pokemon.