Friday, June 28, 2013

Worst Movies Ever

     If I was reading this list, I'd have one of two options. 1) Listen to the advice. 2) Immediately get my hands on a copy of these films.

     Take your pick on either, but I just know for certain that this list is...

5 Movies I Plan On Never Watching Again. Ever.

1. Gentlemen Broncos

     This "movie" was made by the same people who made Napolean Dynamite, which says something important right off the bat;  the humor is going to be kinda strange. I thought Napolean pulled it off alright, but Gentlemen just pushes it. A lot. I had the misfortune of sitting through it twice, and I know that this is one film I definitely do not want to sit through again.

2. Clash/Wrath of the Titans

     Some people may say that they really liked this movie, or that it was epic, but for me, I know it's a definite never-again. Maybe if they had more dialogue thrown into the randomly-smashing-pillars-with-a-face action, then I would've been ok. I just felt that there really wasn't any story present whatsoever.

3. Twilight

     I feel ashamed to admit that I've seen this film. The sad truth though, is that I have. Curiosity drove me to the breaking point, and so I watched it. It's a good thing that I've done lots of good in my life, as to weigh out that horrible mistake in ever watching it.

     I thought I should just slip in right here that I watched like five minutes of another one of the movies in the saga. I think my mom had got it through RedBox and had popped it in. I didn't know what she was watching, and for the short time I watched it, I thought it was some kind of teen comedy movie.

4. Eragon

     I'm a big fan of Christopher Paolini's Inheritance Cycle. I really am. The film adaptation of Eragon makes me wonder if Paolini was even on set when they were filming. And if he was, what kind of drug did they give him to let the directors get away with all the terrible changes they made? Bleh.

5. The Last Airbender

     Yes, I'm a kid at heart. I've watched the original Avatar: The Last Airbender from Nickelodeon. That show was good. I liked it. It had good humor, even though it was a kids show (cut me some slack, though. I was a kid when it first aired).

     The movie took everything I liked from the show, put it in a blender with boring-ness and mediocrity, pureed for seven hours, and then dehydrated the whole mixture for three years. Everything from personality to pronunciation was wrong, and made me desperately wish M. Night Shyamalan was assassinated. No offense, bro. I guess that can't really be taken non-offensively though.

     Alright, I hope my list gave you some movies to avoid (before or after watching them), and I hope my opinions don't create any enemies.

     Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to leave your suggestions for the next list in the comments below. I think you guys could come up with some better ideas then the ones I've had so far.

1 comment :

  1. I agree about avatar the TV show,but the movie STINKS!With a capital S.The only good part of the movie was that they(fire nation)put a picture of avatar ang as a cartoon character on a poster.I many not have read any Christopher Paolini's books but the movie was suck full.It was dad who got twilight once. That's all i have to say bout that(which is quite a bit).